Assertiveness in Practice

Example. “Assertiveness is a communication skill based on mutual respect. When you are assertive, you shows that you respect yourself and are willing to stand up for your interests, thoughts, feelings, and actions. You are not being a bully and you are also not being afraid when you tell people what you want. You understand that if you communicate too passively or too aggressively, your message may not be effective because you are not showing respect to yourself or to those with whom you are communicating.”

Example. “Being assertive helps deliver the message you intend to send. It keeps you from being pushed to do things you don’t want and makes it easier to ask for what you want. You will feel better about yourself when you are assertive. For example, sometimes when you give into to someone who is really pushy, you might feel resentful, angry, helpless, or stressed. Telling someone what you want without being afraid gets rid of that inner conflict. On the other hand, for those who are aggressive, then you might get what you want but people tend to avoid you and feel alone.”

Example. “Assertion is being true to yourself in communication but also respecting that someone else might not agree but should be respected.”

Example. “Ask students to model the body language of an assertive person, e.g., standing straight, direct eye contact. Then ask them to model the body language of a passive person, e.g., slumped posture, looking at floor, fidgeting, crouching, and also an aggressive person, e.g., stands overly close, glares, clenches fists. Another activity is to ask students about a situation in which they should have been more assertive, submissive, or aggressive and why.”

Example. “Have student list professions where people have to be assertive and not submissive to get their point across. Ask them if there are any professions where being aggressive might have to be used to communicate instead of assertion or submission. Another activity is to identify assertiveness when studying literature or history. Also, have students practice positive assertiveness, e.g., comment when someone gives them a compliment, and refusal, e.g., role-playing a sales transaction as a seller and desired customer who doesn’t want the product.”

Example. If students are having a conflict in class, use that as an example to increase self-awareness and assertiveness. Also, have students rephrase non-assertive statements even in reference to themselves, e.g., “I wish I were more___” can be more assertively stated as “I can be more___.” Another activity could be an active listening in which students pair off and practice listening and speaking.

Example. Students can be given the opportunity to lead a lesson or other activity. At its conclusion, the students can reflect on how effective they were being assertive and what they would change in the future.